Tag Archives: Young Adult

[Blog Tour] Review for Lakelore by Anna-Marie McLemore

Hello again! Spring is in the air here, and while school is kicking my butt (as always), I am currently on spring break, so I managed to fit in some pleasure reading for this blog tour! I’m excited to present my tour stop for Anna-Marie McLemore’s newest book, Lakelore! Thanks to Colored Pages for hosting the blog tour. You can find the full tour schedule on their website.

Book Information 

Title: Lakelore
Author: Anna-Marie McLemore 
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
Publication Date: March 8th, 2022 
Pages: 304
Genres: Young Adult Fantasy

Book cover for Anna-Marie McLemore's novel, Lakelore. The illustration features two dark-haired brown-skinned youths standing back-to-back, half-immersed in vivid, multi-colored water with a flight of blue-green butterflies perched on their heads. A large yellow sun, partially eclipsed by clouds, looms behind them. In the water, the word LAKELORE is printed in bold white font with a distortion that resembles light reflecting off dapples in water.
Book cover for Anna-Marie McLemore’s novel, Lakelore. The illustration features two dark-haired brown-skinned youths standing back-to-back, half-immersed in vivid, multi-colored water with a flight of blue-green butterflies perched on their heads. A large yellow sun, partially eclipsed by clouds, looms behind them. In the water, the word LAKELORE is printed in bold white font with a distortion that resembles light reflecting off dapples in water.

Synopsis

In this young adult novel by award-winning author Anna-Marie McLemore, two non-binary teens are pulled into a magical world under a lake – but can they keep their worlds above water intact?

Everyone who lives near the lake knows the stories about the world underneath it, an ethereal landscape rumored to be half-air, half-water. But Bastián Silvano and Lore Garcia are the only ones who’ve been there. Bastián grew up both above the lake and in the otherworldly space beneath it. Lore’s only seen the world under the lake once, but that one encounter changed their life and their fate.

Then the lines between air and water begin to blur. The world under the lake drifts above the surface. If Bastián and Lore don’t want it bringing their secrets to the surface with it, they have to stop it and to do that, they have to work together. There’s just one problem: Bastián and Lore haven’t spoken in seven years, and working together means trusting each other with the very things they’re trying to hide.

Review

You know how some books hurt to read because they hit close to home, but then they heal you and tell you it’s okay to exist as you are? Lakelore is one of those books for me. I mean, I love all of Anna-Marie McLemore’s books, but this one really spoke to me on a deeper level than any of their previous books (which again, are all marvelous still in their own right). The intersections of being trans, neurodivergent, and a person of color are explored in this story from dual points of view, and both Bastián and Lore’s experiences really resonated with me in various ways.

At its core, Lakelore is a story about the Terrifying Ordeal of Being KnownTM. Vulnerability is difficult enough to begin with, but being neurodivergent, trans/nonbinary, and brown in an ableist, transmisic, and racist world, both Bastian and Lore have been made to feel like there is no space in the world for them to exist, like the only way to live is to shrink themselves into digestible packages and to make sure nobody ever sees the unacceptable sides of themselves. In each other, they find kindred spirits. They can info-dump on each other about their favorite niche interests, they can joke with each other about gender, they don’t have to explain life as a brown person in a white world. However, the tension between their desperate hunger for intimacy and their all-consuming fear of rejection keeps every interaction between them balanced on a knife’s edge, where one wrong move or word feels like it could ruin everything. The acts of self-sabotage as a defense mechanism to preempt the possibility of being hurt by the other person? Maybe a little too relatable.

Of course, as usual, Anna-Marie McLemore brings their characters and setting to life with gorgeous prose that invites you to linger and bask in every turn of phrase, to let yourself get swept away by each emotionally charged ebb and flow of words. I kept highlighting passages for the favorite quotes portion of this book tour (coming up in my next post) and quickly found myself stressed by the need to narrow the list down.

Conclusion: Just read the book! It is an Experience.

Content/trigger warnings: misgendering, general trans-antagonism, ableist bullying, gendered harassment

Book Links

About the Author

Anna-Marie McLemore (they/them) writes magical realism and fairy tales that are as queer, Latine, and nonbinary as they are. Their books include THE WEIGHT OF FEATHERS, a 2016 William C. Morris YA Debut Award Finalist; 2017 Stonewall Honor Book WHEN THE MOON WAS OURS, which was longlisted for the National Book Award in Young People’s Literature and was the winner of the James Tiptree Jr. Award; WILD BEAUTY, a Kirkus, School Library Journal, and Booklist best book of 2017; BLANCA & ROJA, a New York Times Book Review Editors’ Choice; MISS METEOR (co-authored with Tehlor Kay Mejia); DARK AND DEEPEST RED, a Winter 2020 Indie Next List selection; and THE MIRROR SEASON, which has recently received starred reviews from Kirkus Reviews, Publishers Weekly, Booklist and School Library Journal, and the forthcoming LAKELORE (March 8, 2022) and SELF-MADE BOYS: A GREAT GATSBY REMIX (Fall 2022).

Author Links: 

[Blog Tour] 5 Asian Fantasy Book Recommendations for Fans of The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea by Axie Oh

Hello and welcome to part 2 of my blog tour stop for The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea. You can find the full details about the book in part 1. Here I’m presenting some book recommendations based on The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea. Some are older than others but they’re all Asian fantasy stories. If you’ve been following me/my blog since 2016 you might have seen me talk about one or more of these before. The book publishing world moves so quickly that backlist titles get neglected and forgotten pretty easily when they’re not part of an ongoing series, so I decided I’d give these a spotlight again.

Silver Phoenix by Cindy Pon

This book was basically the first high fantasy YA by an Asian author published by one of the Big 5. Set in a Chinese-inspired fantasy world, it follows the story of Ai Ling, a young woman who sets off on a journey in order to find her missing father. Her journey takes her far beyond the world she knows to the realms of the gods themselves.

Prophecy by Ellen Oh

The first in a Korean inspired sword and sorcery fantasy trilogy, Prophecy features a kickass heroine on her quest to save her kingdom from foreign invaders and step into her destiny as the Dragon Warrior.

The Forbidden Wish by Jessica Khoury

The Forbidden Wish is an ode love both platonic and romantic, told from the point of view of a female jinni who is woken from her lamp by a charming thief centuries after watching her closest friend’s kingdom fall. It’s a fresh twist on the story of Aladdin by an author of Syrian descent that remains one of my favorite YA fantasy romances to this day.

The Star-Touched Queen by Roshani Chokshi

Like The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea, The Star-Touched Queen, which draws on Hindu lore, features a young woman named Maya who becomes the bride of a god as the result of a cursed horoscope. She struggles to forge her own destiny while navigating the realm of Death and the shadows of her past life. The whole series set in this universe is a gorgeously written feast for the imagination, and I recommend reading the companion, A Crown of Wishes, and the novellas collected in Star-Touched Stories.

Shadow of the Fox by Julie Kagawa

While Julie Kagawa is best known for her Iron Fey books, Shadow of the Fox is a must-read in its own right. Japanese folklore serves as the inspiration for this trilogy, which follows a humble kitsune (fox spirit) as she takes on the heavy burden of protecting a piece of the scroll of the Kami Dragon, whose power to grant any single wish every millennium would be devastating in the hands of the wrong sort—and there are many who covet it and will do anything to get their hands on it.

[Blog Tour] Review for The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea by Axie Oh

I’m about 1/3 of the way through the spring semester and am mentally hanging by a thread to the point that I mixed up the date for this blog tour post, but! I got a nice reprieve from school while reading The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea, which was one of my most anticipated reads of early 2022 since I’m a long-time Axie Oh fan and also the cover for this book (by artist Kuri Huang) is gorgeous! Thank you to Colored Pages for hosting this tour. You can find the schedule with all the other tour stops on the tour launch page.

Book Information

Title: The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea
Author: Axie Oh 
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
Publication Date: February 22nd, 2022 
Genres: Young Adult, fantasy

Synopsis

Deadly storms have ravaged Mina’s homeland for generations. Floods sweep away entire villages, while bloody wars are waged over the few remaining resources. Her people believe the Sea God, once their protector, now curses them with death and despair. In an attempt to appease him, each year a beautiful maiden is thrown into the sea to serve as the Sea God’s bride, in the hopes that one day the “true bride” will be chosen and end the suffering.

Many believe that Shim Cheong, the most beautiful girl in the village—and the beloved of Mina’s older brother Joon—may be the legendary true bride. But on the night Cheong is to be sacrificed, Joon follows Cheong out to sea, even knowing that to interfere is a death sentence. To save her brother, Mina throws herself into the water in Cheong’s stead.

Swept away to the Spirit Realm, a magical city of lesser gods and mythical beasts, Mina seeks out the Sea God, only to find him caught in an enchanted sleep. With the help of a mysterious young man named Shin—as well as a motley crew of demons, gods, and spirits—Mina sets out to wake the Sea God and bring an end to the killer storms once and for all.

But she doesn’t have much time: A human cannot live long in the land of the spirits. And there are those who would do anything to keep the Sea God from waking…

Review

Not to be punny, but The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea is such an immersive read. Nearly all of the story takes place in the undersea kingdom of the Sea God, which is populated by spirits and immortals of all kinds. Although it feels like a cliche to say so, I got Spirited Away vibes from the story, but not just because it’s Asian. The alienation and wonder of being in a completely different world with its own rules, the race against time to save what one holds most dear, the ever present beauty and danger of the spirit world, and the deceptive appearances of many of the characters—all of these elements lent the story the same enchanting qualities as Spirited Away.

Our protagonist, Mina, is nothing special on the surface, not the most beautiful or talented girl in her village, not even the original bride chosen to be sacrificed to the Sea God.  Yet her love, for her family, for her people, and for the gods themselves makes her shine as the protagonist and spurs her to acts of bravery. Her physical strength may be unremarkable, but her mental fortitude is admirable. She finds strength from the bonds she forges with others and holds them close to her heart.

The supporting cast of characters includes a wide array of beings, from friendly spirits in the form of children to spiteful gods with their own whims and agendas, as well as several of the other girls who were previously sacrificed to the Sea God. Although this story is a standalone, I found myself wishing I could return to the world of the Sea God to hang out with the many friends and allies Mina makes along the way.

At its core, The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea is a story exploring the meaning of fate and the power of love to overcome all. Even as she is pressed on all sides by forces that try to bend her to their will, Mina persists in following her heart and holding on to hope. Her story is a guiding light in the storm and a perfect read for times of trouble. Overall, this book is a lovely start to Axie Oh’s venture into the fantasy genre and I can’t wait to see what she comes up with next.

Don’t forget to check out my book recommendations for the blog tour in my next post!

About the Author

Axie Oh is a first-generation Korean American, born in New York City and raised in New Jersey. She studied Korean history and creative writing as an undergrad at the University of California San Diego and holds an MFA in Writing for Young People from Lesley University. Her passions include K-pop, anime, stationery supplies, and milk tea, and she currently resides in Las Vegas, Nevada, with her dog, Toro (named after Totoro). She is the author of multiple books for teens, including The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea.

Author Links: 

[Blog Tour] Favorite Quotes from The Red Palace by June Hur

Hello, welcome to the second half of my tour stop for The Red Palace by June Hur, hosted by Colored Pages. You can find the details about the book and my review in my previous post. I’ve kept this spoiler free, so worry not.

Note: These quotes were taken from the digital advance reader copy I received from the publisher. The final edition may differ slightly.

Quote #1

Moonlight drifted as quietly as falling snow, illuminating the pavilion roofs and the animal shaped statues that lined the swooping eaves. Floor lanterns spilled golden light across the frosted courtyards, and against the latticed labyrinth of doors and windows. Silence reigned, except for the distant ring of the great bell, echoing through the capital and rumbling over Changdeok Palace. By the twenty-eighth ring, the palace gates would be bolted shut for the night.

Chapter 1

Quote #2

I knew how to keep my heart calm in the face of death and dying, screaming patients, and yet one sharp word from my father, and I turned into a fragile child. Before him, I never knew how to keep myself from crying—the type of crying that left me in a heap of violent shudders and gasped attempts to speak—no matter how much he resented the sight of it all. I wanted so much to be accepted by him. And I hated this feeling; I wished it to go away.

Chapter 6

Quote #3

It was no wonder that I’d read of Segeomjeong Pavilion so often in literature and poems. The pavilion nestled under a forested mountain and next to a trickling stream that sparkled in the setting sun, casting a spell over one’s mind with the thought that everything was well with the kingdom. There was no famine. There was no horror, no pain. There was no grief. There was only water, earth, and trees.

Chapter 7

Quote #4

He held my gaze, his brows drawn low with concern. “I promise. I promise on my father’s grave that nothing you tell me will ever be turned against you.”

And in that moment, I felt a strange feeling.

I trusted him.

Chapter 7

Quote #5

With that, I gave the servant a faint smile and stepped into my home. Silence and shadows swarmed around me, heavy with Mother’s grief, the one wound I couldn’t stitch up. A wound that made me feel so helpless I wanted to run away from it—but I was her daughter. We were family.

Chapter 8

Quote #6

Letting out a heavy sigh, I slid open the door to her chamber, and as the glow of candlelight filled my vision, for a moment, I saw Mother as she had once been. A gisaeng of exquisite beauty, and so intelligent that powerful men would come from all around the kingdom to converse with her. One of the men had been my father. A whirlwind love story, it was, Servant Mokgeum had once told me. They could hardly survive a day without each other.

But the pool of candlelight faded, and I stared at the mother who’d raised me, with her severely tied hair and a face that looked as empty as a storm-washed sky, eyes so dim they reminded me of a pair of burnt-out wicks.

Chapter 8

Quote #7

Within a few paces, I caught sight of the flared tile roof of the police bureau rising above the sea of thatched huts like dark storm clouds. I saw, too, a group of young police officers standing outside, speaking with someone. My gaze gravitated toward the tallest officer, a veil of rain dripping from the brim of his black hat.

Chapter 9

Quote #8

I was suddenly filled with the urge to burst into laughter. Laughter over the terrifyingly ridiculous situation I’d found myself, and from the sheer sense of wonder that the darkest time had brought a friend into my life.

Chapter 10

Quote #9

My stomach tightened into a knot as I wrung my hands, and forced my gaze onto the floor. But I couldn’t refocus myself. My guard fell away like a sigh of defeat, and I admitted to myself a truth that made my ears burn.

I wanted to love and be loved.

I wanted to be known.

I wanted to be understood and accepted.

Chapter 11

Quote #10

The great bell struck, its resounding ring rumbling down the streets. Massive gates on all corners of the fortress thundered shut, and we narrowly made it out on horseback. Hooves pounded across the earth as the capital and its guardian mountain dwindled into a black-ridged shadow.

Chapter 16

[Blog Tour] Review for The Red Palace by June Hur

It’s a new year already, which sounds fake since it feels like just yesterday we were starting off 2021. I haven’t kept up with my blog as much as I hoped over the past year, but I’m still hanging in there and getting all my blog tour posts in. Today’s review is for one of my most anticipated 2022 releases, The Red Palace by June Hur, as part of the blog tour hosted by Colored Pages. You can find out more about the tour and view the tour schedule on the Colored Pages site.

Book Information

Title: The Red Palace
Author: June Hur  
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
Publication Date: January 25th, 2022 
Genres: Young Adult, historical fiction, mystery

Synopsis

Joseon (Korea), 1758. There are few options available to illegitimate daughters in the capital city, but through hard work and study, eighteen-year-old Hyeon has earned a position as a palace nurse. All she wants is to keep her head down, do a good job, and perhaps finally win her estranged father’s approval.

But Hyeon is suddenly thrust into the dark and dangerous world of court politics when someone murders four women in a single night, and the prime suspect is Hyeon’s closest friend and mentor. Determined to prove her beloved teacher’s innocence, Hyeon launches her own secret investigation.

In her hunt for the truth, she encounters Eojin, a young police inspector also searching for the killer. When evidence begins to point to the Crown Prince himself as the murderer, Hyeon and Eojin must work together to search the darkest corners of the palace to uncover the deadly secrets behind the bloodshed.

June Hur, critically acclaimed author of The Silence of Bones and The Forest of Stolen Girls, returns with The Red Palace—a third evocative, atmospheric historical mystery perfect for fans of Courtney Summers and Kerri Maniscalco.

Review

(Note: I received an advance reader copy of the book from the publisher as part of my participation in this tour in exchange for an honest review.)

Honestly I feel like I might be repeating myself somewhat from my review of The Forest of Stolen Girls, but June Hur has delivered yet another masterful bone-chilling page-turner. Something about the way she writes infuses each page with the atmospheric essence necessary to immerse you in the world of her stories. There’s not a word wasted, each sentence a silken thread in a grand tapestry that you cannot fully grasp until it has finished being woven before your eyes. It’s like magic.

At the heart of this tragic serial murder mystery is nuanced commentary on gender and class inequality in 18th century Joseon Korea, the ghosts that haunt Hyeon at each step of her investigation and her life as a whole. As a young woman and an illegitimate child of a noble and a former courtesan, she has few prospects in a world of strict gender segregation and class stratification. Her attempts to pursue truth and justice on behalf of the murder victims and the innocent scapegoat for their deaths put her at odds with the prevailing social order, which would prefer that she keep her head down and mouth shut—if she doesn’t want to end up dead as well.

The story makes it clear who is treated as disposable and who can largely harm with impunity, and the challenge of solving the mystery is very much tied up in social power differentials and access to knowledge and resources. Yet the lurking threats to Hyeon and to those who refuse to let the truth remain untold ironically betray the fragility of the powerful and the faults in the system that allow those with less privilege to gain leverage and turn the tables. Thus the story does not fall into a fatalistic view of society but instead instills hope that toxic systems can be upended and justice can prevail.

As with her previous novels, this newest book of June’s centers on family and the complex feelings of daughters toward patriarchal figures. Hyeon’s desperate desire for validation from her emotionally distant and unforgiving father informs her choices and creates internal conflict throughout the story. Her investigation could jeopardize the achievements she has worked hard to attain as a palace nurse, so she must choose between doing what’s right and doing what is expected of her.

One notable way that The Red Palace diverges from its predecessors is the inclusion of a romantic subplot. Folded into the story’s broader theme of gender and class inequality is an aching tale of forbidden love. Eojin and Hyeon share analytical minds and an eye for detail, a strong sense of justice, and a stubborn streak that puts them in danger of retribution by those who feel threatened by their investigation. Yet the strict rules of gender and class dictated by their time and place cut a wide gulf between them, barring them from forging a socially sanctioned friendship and bond of intimacy. The result is a slow-burn romance replete with soulful yearning, stolen glances, and unspoken affection. It is devastating and beautiful, and you’ll have to read the book to find out not only who killed the palace women and why but what the future holds for Eojin and Hyeon. Trust me, it’s worth it.

In my next post, I’ll share some favorite quotes from the book to give a taste of what you’re in for.

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Blackwells | Book Depository | Bookshop.org | Goodreads | IndieBound | Indigo | Kinokuniya USA

About the Author

a black and white photo of a pale-skinned young East Asian woman with long black hair who is smiling widely with teeth showing and eyes crinkled; a veil of maple leaves are faintly visible in the unfocused background

June Hur was born in South Korea and raised in Canada, except for the time when she moved back to Korea and attended high school there. She studied History and Literature at the University of Toronto. She began writing her debut novel after obsessing over books about Joseon Korea. When she’s not writing, she can be found wandering through nature or journaling at a coffee shop. She is the author of The Silence of BonesThe Forest of Stolen GirlsThe Red Palace, and A Crane Among Wolves, published by Feiwel & Friends/Macmillan, and she currently lives in Toronto with her husband and daughter.

[Blog Tour] Review for Jade Fire Gold by June CL Tan

2021 is already more than 3/4 over, which sounds like fake news even though it isn’t. I’m trying my best to juggle my various responsibilities, and even though I was wary of overloading myself, I simply had to sign up for the blog tour for Jade Fire Gold. This tour is hosted by Caffeine Book Tours, and you can find more details about it on the CBT website.

Book Information

Title: Jade Fire Gold
Author: June CL Tan
US Cover
: GUWEIZ
UK Cover
:  Aaron Munday
Publisher
: HarperTeen
Publication date
: 12 October 2021
Age group:
Young Adult
Genres
: Fantasy

Synopsis

Girls of Paper and Fire meets The Tiger at Midnight in June CL Tan’s stunning debut, inspired by Chinese mythology, with rich magic and an epic slow-burn romance.

In an empire on the brink of war . . .

Ahn is no one, with no past and no family.

Altan is a lost heir, his future stolen away as a child.

When they meet, Altan sees in Ahn a path to reclaiming the throne. Ahn sees a way to finally unlock her past and understand her arcane magical abilities.

But they may have to pay a far deadlier price than either could have imagined.

Ferocious action, shadowy intrigue, and a captivating romance collide in June CL Tan’s debut, a stunning homage to the Xianxia novel with a tender, beating heart, perfect for fans of The Bone Witch and We Hunt the Flame.

On-page Representation

  • POC (Chinese-coded characters)
  • LGBTQ+ (Sapphic, gay)

Trigger and Content Warnings

  • self-harm (gouging, eye horror; non-graphic)
  • child abuse (physical, verbal, emotional manipulation/gaslighting)
  • parent death (implied, off-page)
  • character deaths
  • mentions and descriptions of fantasy/magical violence (blood, war, political violence)
  • mentions and descriptions of physical symptoms that might be triggering to those with emetophobia
  • alcohol consumption

Review

Note: I received a review copy of Jade Fire Gold as part of my participation in this tour in exchange for an honest review.

Jade Fire Gold was one of my most anticipated releases of 2021 and I’m happy to say that I had a great time with this xianxia inspired fantasy. I haven’t read a fantasy novel that’s this many pages in a long time, but I never got bored. There were many things to love about it.

First, I love that this story plays with familiar tropes from Western fantasy and Chinese xianxia. The Chinese-inspired setting was easy for me to immerse myself in as someone who grew up on a steady diet of period cdramas. It was fun to see how June tweaked and repurposed cultural elements that resonated with my experiences. For those who aren’t acquainted with them, she provides ample scaffolding to bring this world to life with poetically drawn descriptions.

Epic fantasy vibes aside, what really kept me invested in the story was the characters. The two main leads, Ahn and Altan, each have their own traumas and desires, and a cruel twist of fate brings them together for a life-or-death mission. I found myself questioning what choices and sacrifices they would make to reach their goals, and whether they’d succumb to their inner darkness.

At first, the romance between Ahn and Altan felt a little too insta-attraction-y for my tastes, but it gradually developed enough that I started genuinely rooting for them and dreading the star-crossed lovers trajectory of their relationship. Slow-burn enemies-to-lovers fans: this one’s for you.

I also really loved many of the supporting characters, particularly the four of who are explicitly queer (including a f/f pairing). The story really built up their personalities and backgrounds as their lives converged with Ahn’s and Altan’s, with some interesting twists thrown in. I was distraught any time it seemed like one of them was going to get hurt, or actually did get hurt. I would totally be down to read companion stories about any of them.

Although the conflict in this book gets resolved enough that it could stand alone, the epilogue of the story creates a clear jumping off point for a sequel. I’m guessing the publisher hasn’t committed to one yet until Jade Fire Gold succeeds, but I hope it happens since I am 👀👀👀 at the revelation in the epilogue. Fingers crossed and please check this book out to help make that book 2 a reality.

Also, as usual, stay tuned for my blog tour bonus content in a separate post. 🙂


Book links (note: you are free to use your own affiliate links or to other booksellers):

About the Author

June CL Tan grew up in Singapore where she was raised on a diet of classic books and wuxia movies, caffeine and congee. She holds various degrees in communication studies, education, and film. After teaching for a few years, she took a detour into the finance industry. To no one’s surprise, she soon realized her mistake and made her escape. Now, she resides in New York City, talking to imaginary people and creating fantastical worlds under the watchful eye of her crafty cat. She enjoys telling stories that draw on both the traditional and modern to create something fresh to the eye, but familiar to the heart. Jade Fire Gold is her debut novel. 

Author links:

[Blog Tour] Favorite Quotes from Things We Couldn’t Say by Jay Coles

Hello again! This is the follow-up to my review for Things We Couldn’t Say and the second installment of my stop for the blog tour hosted by Colored Pages. Please see my review for the full details about the book.

Notes: Quotes are taken from the digital review copy I received, so I don’t have page numbers. The quotes may differ from the final published version. All quotes are from Gio’s narration unless otherwise stated/attributed.

Quote #1

“MatchUp is for hookups, Ayesha.” I sound like an overprotective brother. I would know because I went through this phase last year where I met up with some random girls every now and then for a quick hookup and even some guys, too, as an experiment to see if I was really into guys the way I started to think I was. Somehow making out with a random guy helped me figure things out, like icing on the cake.

Quote #2

Sometimes I wonder if things would be different if she were still here with us. I wonder if pops would drink like he does. I wonder if Theo would still need me to walk him to school every morning. I wonder a lot of things and I might not ever know the answers. And I tell myself that it’s…okay.

Quote #3

Dr. McCullough, she said counting or naming the states in alphabetical order and even reverse alphabetical order helps you clear your head, helps push through anxiety and panic attacks.

I count.

And count.

And count.

In my thoughts.

But I can’t shake this grief.

Quote #4

Suddenly I wonder if the darkness that I feel in my chest is there because I’m holding on to it rather than emptying it out. Something inside me is stirring and stirring and it feels wrong. I can’t focus on anything.

Quote #5

I’m so hurt and beat up about the fact that this whole time I could’ve had some sort of relationship with her, some sort of contact. Maybe I wouldn’t have needed to go through counseling with Dr. McCullough back when I was a freshman and sophomore. At least, not as often as I did. Or maybe at least her absence wouldn’t have felt as heavy. Maybe I would have the answers to all the questions written on my heart that I don’t even know to ask. Maybe the grief I experience in waves and seasons wouldn’t be as heavy as a tsunami tiding over me, completely consuming every inch of my body until I, too, am something to be grieved.

Quote #6

“Loss fucks you up, but it doesn’t change who you are. I have to believe that. It forces you to be brave and strong so you can hold your life together, and the lives of the people you love together—the ones who are still here.”

-David

Quote #7

This boy is such a mystery, but I can’t help but feel like I’m on top of the world when I’m near him. I can’t help but feel every butterfly in a fifty-mile radius flutter in my stomach. I don’t take my eyes off him—I can’t.

Quote #8

“The biggest lie the world tells you is that you have to have everything figured out. You don’t. That’s part of the journey of life—figuring out the different layers of you. And when you’re ready to share those layers, you deserve to be able to do that. But you don’t have to do it till that time comes.”

-Jackie, Gio’s mother

Quote #9

On top of everything else, I’m terrified David will see right through the different layers of me. He won’t see this soft, nice, somewhat shy boy, but instead and ugly fucking disaster.

Quote #10

That’s the thing about grief: it’s a sneaky little devil that creeps up on you and catches you off guard. It pops up when you’re not prepared and takes shapes that you least expect.

[Blog Tour] Review for Things We Couldn’t Say by Jay Coles

Hope everyone is having a nice fall (or spring depending on which hemisphere you’re in). The Mid-Autumn Festival and Chuseok are this week on Tuesday! Also coming on Tuesday is a wonderful queer Black YA novel, Things We Couldn’t Say by Jay Coles. I’m happy to be featuring this book as part of the blog tour hosted by Colored Pages.

Book Information 

Title: Things We Couldn’t Say 
Author: Jay Coles 
Publisher: Scholastic Press
Publication Date: September 21st, 2021
Genres: Young Adult Contemporary

Synopsis:

From one of the brightest and most acclaimed new lights in YA fiction, a fantastic new novel about a bi Black boy finding first love . . . and facing the return of the mother who abandoned his preacher family when he was nine.

There’s always been a hole in Gio’s life. Not because he’s into both guys and girls. Not because his father has some drinking issues. Not because his friends are always bringing him their drama. No, the hole in Gio’s life takes the shape of his birth mom, who left Gio, his brother, and his father when Gio was nine years old. For eight years, he never heard a word from her . . . and now, just as he’s started to get his life together, she’s back.

It’s hard for Gio to know what to do. Can he forgive her like she wants to be forgiven? Or should he tell her she lost her chance to be in his life? Complicating things further, Gio’s started to hang out with David, a new guy on the basketball team. Are they friends? More than friends? At first, Gio’s not sure . . . especially because he’s not sure what he wants from anyone right now.

There are no easy answers to love — whether it’s family love or friend love or romantic love. In Things We Couldn’t Say, Jay Coles, acclaimed author of Tyler Johnson Was Here, shows us a guy trying to navigate love in all its ambiguity — hoping at the other end he’ll be able to figure out who is and who he should be.

Review:

This is a book that really made me go “oof.” Our protagonist, Gio, has to process a lot of complicated and heavy emotions through the story. His anxiety, depression, and PTSD are incredibly raw and so viscerally presented that I found myself hurting alongside him. I can’t speak to the experience of being abandoned by a parent, but I did see myself in many aspects of his struggles with mental illness and trauma. In particular, I empathized with his feelings of guilt and worthlessness, the sense that he did not deserve care and love because he was too broken to do anything but hurt others as a result of his trauma.

Running parallel to the storyline about Gio’s mother and providing some uplifting relief is his budding relationship with the new neighbor who’s also on his basketball team, David. David awakens something in him that he’s never felt before. Although Gio figured out that he’s bi before the events of the story, David is the first boy that he’s truly fallen for, the first person in general who seems to really get his experiences because David has lost someone dear to him, too. The tenderness, earnestness, and vulnerability between the two boys will make your heart ache.

Filling out the cast of characters in the book are Gio’s family and friends: his distant preacher father, his nurturing stepmom Karina, his precocious younger brother Theo, his two BFFs Ayesha and Olly, as well as a host of people in his predominantly Black neighborhood and community that are part of the landscape of his daily life. Each character is given their own depth and humanity, adding texture and nuance to Gio’s story.

There are also a few racist white characters, from Gio’s ignorant Nice White Lady English teacher to an explicitly, aggressively antiblack store manager. These characters will likely be familiar to any readers of color, especially Black readers, who have encountered similar figures in their own lives at various points. Although racism isn’t the central conflict of the story, it still informs Gio’s character and the setting and sustains the realism.

Aside from the plotlines about his mother and David, there’s also one about Gio’s future as it relates to what his father expects. His father is pretty insistent on having him take over the church, but Gio dreams of playing basketball and therefore constantly clashes with his father over what is “really important.” Watching Gio stand up for himself and articulate his desires felt so gratifying. This conflict plays out in so many YA stories, but it never feels old because life is so often a struggle between external pressures and internal desires.

I’m not really one who cries over books super often, but Things We Couldn’t Say made me tear up multiple times. Something about Jay Coles’ writing really just digs under your skin and burrows into your heart. If you’re in the mood for an angsty, cathartic read, this is one to pick up.

And stay tuned for a collection of some favorite quotes from Things We Couldn’t Say. 🙂

Content/Trigger Warnings: alcoholic parent, queermisia, parental abandonment, anxiety (including panic attacks), depression, PTSD, racism/antiblackness

Book Links:  

About the Author

JAY COLES is the author of critically acclaimed TYLER JOHNSON WAS HERE, a composer with ASCAP, and a professional musician residing in Muncie, Indiana. He is a graduate of Vincennes University and Ball State University and holds degrees in English and Liberal Arts. When he’s not writing diverse books, he’s advocating for them, serving with The Revolution church, and composing music for various music publishers. Jay’s forthcoming novel THINGS WE COULDN’T SAY is set to be released 9.21.21 with Scholastic! His novels can be purchased at Barnes and Noble or at Amazon.

Author Links:

[Blog Tour] Favorite Quotes from A Clash of Steel by C.B. Lee

Part 2 of my stop for the blog tour featuring A Clash of Steel, hosted by Colored Pages. For the full info about the book, refer back to the previous post.

I’ve selected some quotes that represent the story or stood out to me in some way. All quotes without quotation marks are narration from Xiang’s perspective. Dialogue is attributed to a character where applicable.

Note: These are spoiler-free, so don’t worry. Also, the quotes are taken from the final published version.

Quote #1

I close my book, whispering the words of the poem I’ve committed to memory, each verse filled with a longing I’ve never truly understood: “Once you’ve experienced ocean, nothing else is considered water.”

page 12

Quote #2

I gasp as the horizon comes into view, and beyond the mouth of the river, the glittering ocean approaches. Hundreds of flickering lights gleam from streets unseen, softly glowing against stone, and distantly I can make out the cheerful red of lanterns and banners streaming from buildings. There’s the border of a massive stone wall, ambling as it tracks through the forest, and clusters of buildings rising up on the hills leading to the ocean. I can see the shadows of ships’ masts and the outline of docks, just barely.

Canton.

page 56

Quote #3

I love it.

I love the motley crowd, the unruliness of the patrons, how there are just…so many people who have seen so many things. I want to see what they’ve seen, hear their stories. I want to know where those sailors in the far corner have been, what enemies that would with the sword has slain, what lost romances the singer on the dais is yearning for as she pours it all into her song.

page 82

Quote #4

“Emperors and kings and officials…they all want the same thing from their people: constant tribute, money or grain or people for their endless wars. On the water, we aren’t a part of any empire. Our home is the sea, our port wherever we choose to travel.”

Anh, page 101

Quote #5

My cheeks burn, and I tell myself it is the wine, but that feeling again raises its head, making itself known, that deep unbidden yearning in my heart I have never voiced. The simple touch seems at once too much, the warmth of her, and I both want to move away from the intensity of it and to also linger here in this moment forever.

page 105

Quote #6

I reach out my hand, and I feel I can almost touch the sun as the ship speeds toward the new day—the swift wind, the great expanse of water ahead, and the great unknown rushing up to meet us.

page 177

Quote #7

I know now what I knew then but was too afraid to admit: I had wanted her, the way the poets would write about. I wanted her steady companionship, her bright laughter as we raced through the fields together. I wanted her like a lover, to hold her face and sweep her hair out of her eyes and draw her in for a soft kiss.

page 236

Quote #8

“Who is more the thief: the government that preys on its own people, or those who must become thieves in order to survive?”

Xiang, page 241

Quote #9

“You all are here for a reason—whether it be your blood cast you out, your emperor did not do as he promised, or your king found you lacking—well, I did not! The sea cares not of your status, of whom you love! On this ship we work hard, and no emperor, no king, no navy lapdog could tell us what to do!”

Captain Hoa, page 268

Quote #10

I have felt untethered all my life, drifting endlessly, and here, finally, is a safe place to land, a quiet harbor to protect me from the turbulence of the sea.

page 304

[Blog Tour] Review for A Clash of Steel by C.B. Lee

Hello, I can’t believe it’s fall already. I spent this summer taking a course on children’s literature, preparing to move residences and then settling in after my move in August, and even giving my first professional presentation on sensitivity reading. I’ve been in a reading slump, but signing up for the blog tour for A Clash of Steel, hosted by Colored Pages Book Tours, helped me get back into reading again. I’ve been eagerly anticipating the release of this book for a while, and I’m excited to share my thoughts.

Book Information

Title: A Clash of Steel
Author: C.B. Lee
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
Publication Date: September 7th, 2021
Genres: Young Adult, Historical Fiction

Synopsis:

Two intrepid girls hunt for a legendary treasure on the deadly high seas in this YA remix of the classic adventure novel Treasure Island.The sun is setting on the golden age of piracy, and the legendary

1826. The sun is setting on the golden age of piracy, and the legendary Dragon Fleet, the scourge of the South China Sea, is no more. Its ruthless leader, a woman known only as the Head of the Dragon, is now only a story, like the ones Xiang has grown up with all her life. She desperately wants to prove her worth, especially to her mother, a shrewd businesswoman who never seems to have enough time for Xiang. Her father is also only a story, dead at sea before Xiang was born. Her single memento of him is a pendant she always wears, a simple but plain piece of gold jewelry.

But the pendant’s true nature is revealed when a mysterious girl named Anh steals it, only to return it to Xiang in exchange for her help in decoding the tiny map scroll hidden inside. The revelation that Xiang’s father sailed with the Dragon Fleet and tucked away this secret changes everything. Rumor has it that the legendary Head of the Dragon had one last treasure—the plunder of a thousand ports—that for decades has only been a myth, a fool’s journey.

Xiang is convinced this map could lead to the fabled treasure. Captivated with the thrill of adventure, she joins Anh and her motley crew off in pursuit of the island. But the girls soon find that the sea—and especially those who sail it—are far more dangerous than the legends led them to believe.

Review:

Because my attention span is almost nonexistent a lot of the time these days, getting into a book can take a while. With A Clash of Steel, I didn’t struggle nearly as much as usual, however. Even without a deadline setting a fire under me, I was still sucked into the story from early on.

At the core, A Clash of Steel is a story about yearning, in various senses of the word. Xiang yearns for many things: her mother’s approval, a more exciting life and future outside of the bounds her mother has set for, and control over her own destiny. When she meets Anh, the yearning for a special someone to be by her side forever blooms as well.

A Clash of Steel is very much a classic quest narrative, with a treasure trove waiting at the end and many obstacles, including a cryptic poem, standing in the way. Thematically, the story’s external conflicts reflect Xiang’s internal conflicts as she is forced to make decisions about what she values most. Moving from a sheltered life inland to braving the boundless ocean, worlds of possibility open up before her. Watching Xiang take her first steps into becoming herself free of her mother was satisfying, and thanks to the gorgeous and detailed prose, I found myself also immersed in the rhythms of life in a busy port city and on a ship weathering wind and rain.

Central to Xiang’s growth is Anh, who takes a chance on her, teaches her new things, and provides a different perspective as someone who has lived the unstable life of a seafaring laborer. The sapphic romance between Xiang and Anh made my heart ache. For a while, Xiang tries her best to suppress her feelings for Anh, believing that there is no place in the world for two women to love and find happiness together. There’s so much tension built up over the book that when Xiang finally acts on her feelings, it feels like a deluge.

One of the refreshing aspects of A Clash of Steel is the unapologetic diversity. The South China Sea was historically (and still is) a host to people from all different places. When Xiang joins the crew of the boat captained by Anh’s mother, Huyền Vũ, she becomes a part of a found family from various backgrounds—Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, Korean, and Nepali. Furthermore, since the seafaring folk don’t adhere strictly to the laws of the landbound political institutions, there is greater freedom for queer people to be themselves. Two of the men on board the boat, Châu and Arthrit, are married and everyone is fine with it. It shouldn’t be a surprise, given that same-gender relationships are a part the real history of maritime life, but unfortunately this history is often erased in fiction, along with the racial and ethnic diversity of pirates and sailors.

A Clash of Steel was a very special read to me because it has shown me I can write a historical fiction story with Asian pirates and there will be an audience for it. My family is from Taiwan, which has been a critical player in maritime trade for centuries, and I have plans to write a story connected to that history.

Anyway, if you’re looking for a high-stakes adventure, aching romance, and heartfelt coming-of-age story, read A Clash of Steel! And don’t forget to check out my follow-up post with some of my favorite quotes from the book.

Book Links:

About the Author:

CB Lee is a Lambda Literary Award nominated writer of young adult science fiction and fantasy. Her works include the Sidekick Squad series (Duet Books), Ben 10 (Boom!), and All Out Now (HarperTeen). CB loves to write about queer teens, magic, superheroes, and the power of friendship.
Lee’s work has been featured in Teen Vogue, Wired Magazine, and Hypable. Lee’s first novel in the Sidekick Squad series, Not Your Sidekick was a 2017 Lambda Literary Awards Finalist in YA/Children’s Fiction and a 2017 Bisexual Book Awards Finalist in Speculative Fiction. Seven Tears at High Tide was the recipient of a Rainbow Award for Best Bisexual Fantasy Romance and also a finalist for the 2016 Bisexual Book Awards in the YA and Speculative Fiction categories.

Author Links: